The Well Cultured Anonymous

Go here.

2008-02-06T16:57:00.000-08:00

http://www.wellcultured.com/

I'm going here now. It's going to be a much bigger project- this is the only place I'm posting the link at the moment, as I'm trying to configure a lot of other features. Still, check out the blog/forum and have at- it will be done within the week.

A note, and random tips

2008-01-25T21:45:00.000-08:00

Just to quickly touch on my last post:

Coming from the Air Force, I'll say be careful with the uniform stuff too. You can really piss some people off fast if they feel you are disrespecting something they wear to defend their country.

Good point. People will also make fun of you, mostly people who hate the military. In all honesty, it's hard to pull off something military like BDUs- I get away with it only because I wear them in extreme laziness (and I don't care). There are lots of times when you won't be able to get away with this, so do be warned. For some reason, the world can accept military-cut clothes (like bomber jackets), but not actual military clothes. It's not like I care, but it is a point to make.

Anyway.

Instead of giving my usual vague tips, I've decided to give some serious ideas for people who are desperately in need of "starting points" to refine themselves. Unlike my other posts, I'm not going to consider these points perfect, nor will I ever say these will work in YOUR situation- what I can say is that in many situations, it will do nothing but help. With that in mind, consider these some applications to stuff that we at TWCA have been ranting about for a while, just more applied to real life. And consider this disclaimer just our way of getting out of the responsibility of the inevitable failure of some random reader who tries some idea that doesn't work as perfectly as it would for others, etc etc etc.

STUFF YOU SHOULD TRY:

Learn to Dance.
Not kidding. I'm a bit biased because this is one of the things I do: this is a quick way to not only build up some confidence, but it also helps the real time closet cases (the ones scares of women) really begin to open up more. It's obviously shitty when you start (and you will always look like a douche, no exceptions), but you WILL get better. People who laugh at you for looking like a douche looked like a douche at some point in their lives, and should be ignored.

Do note there's really two avenues. Social Dance, generally considered hip-hop dance, is the kind of shit that really isn't "standard", but is somewhat viable nonetheless. It really depends on what you do, but it's fun and enjoyable if you have some way to do it beyond taking classes (like, say, competitions or something.)

Ballroom dance is the building block of most common dance, and it's a great intro. While it sounds somewhat boring, it actually can be incredibly fun, and, speaking quite honestly, it teaches you to be dominating on the dance floor. If you have a controlling streak in you, women will love it. Nothing pisses off female ballroom dancers more than putting up with a guy who won't be willing to pull and push them around the dance floor in their arms.

Go through your old clothes, throw away shit, and get new stuff.
This only really applies if you have the cash, but it's a fucking great way to move forward. Throw away old or outdated styles, like those graphic tees that were popular, or dumbass clothes that you bought for your "skater look". Throw away shit that's torn up that isn't SUPPOSED to look torn up. Get rid of bad sneakers if they hurt your feet or just have gotten nasty. Make sure stuff fits your body- you do change, even though you may not realize it.

Replace stuff with good styles, but nothing too overboard. Check the actual Well Cultured Anonymous page on Wikichan.org for big time tips, but in general, just get stuff that's stylish without being the kind of stuff that'll go out of style in a few years. It shouldn't be too hard- just do your research.

Get a haircut.
Sometimes, having the same haircut for your entire life will make you boring. I'm not saying to drastically change your look, but play around a bit- and see who notices. If you have long hair, it won't kill you to experiment with short hair, especially if you're interviewing for jobs. If you have short hair, try growing it out and keeping it trimmed. Girls will notice.

Quick note: if the new haircut involves a straightening iron, shoot yourself. Just trust me. I don't care what girls will tell you so far as hairstyles they like: they will make fun of you if you use a straightening iron, or even a blowdryer. Suck it up.

Hook yourself up with a decent home theater system.
What? Telling you to get something techy? Yep. Somehow, having a bitching home theater provides an excellent excuse to invite girls to your place, or just show off to your guy friends. If you can afford it, there's nothing wrong with getting nice shit like a LCD TV or something. Obviously, it's limited by your budget and your craziness, but somehow, it just works.

Seriously fix your finances.
Go check your credit report and bank statements. Consolidate accounts. Put more into savings if you can. Make sure you're contributing fully to your 401k or Roth IRA or whatever the fuck you're up to (which you should be up to, but that's another blog post entirely). This doesn't requite much information for you to know what to do: just clean shit up. Seriously consider investing some money into stocks, if you're willing to stomach the recent downfalls: buy cheap and profit, if you make the right decisions.

Clean your pad.
Get rid of the trash and stuff out of your pad- that includes stuff you just don't use, or the trash around the area. If you have stuff you don't use anymore, donate it to charity- it's a tax break and a good thing to do. You should be somewhat minimalist when cleaning- remember, you'll always find ways to fill your place back up with shit, so be proactive in getting rid of things you know you don't really need.

And for the stuff you do have? Organize the hell out of it. DVD collections are awesome, but it's useless if you can't find shit easily- get shelving. Things like printers and game consoles don't need to be always present in your vision- you can always put them in a cabinet or the like. Get a shoe keeper and stop hunting for shit under your bed. Put clothes you don't use (summer clothes in winter, winter clothes in summer) in bins, maybe under your bed or something. Organize and clean your kitchen.

Speaking of clean, clean fucking everything. Get into your bathroom and seriously clean it. Scrub down stuff you use a lot- and yes, wash your dishes. Girls check that shit obsessively, which is annoying, but yeah.

I'm somewhat OCD about shit like this, so you can even get so detailed as to getting lots of the same hanger (like, wooden hangers) and hanging everything on them- it'll make everything much eaiser to find.

Toss your junk food, replace it with good healthy stuff.
Okay, I feel like a hypocrite writing this, my diet for the last week has absofuckinglutely sucked because I've been busy, but I'll be doing this over the weekend, you try it too. Toss out your shit food like candy and sweets. Just toss it. It's making you fat. Get rid of the soda, get rid of the energy drinks, and even the spices or shit that's gone bad.

Replace it with healthy stuff. If it's in your house, you will eat it , so just make sure it's good food. Replace your junk food with healthier shit- and if you MUST have your certain junk foods, buy it in moderation. Nothing's wrong with having cheetos or shit once in a while, just don't buy the industrial boxes of it.

Optimize your PC and recordkeeping.
Clean up your fucking PC. Delete all the porn. Optimize Windows with nLite (or vLite if you're stuck on Vistaids). Back up all your important stuff to discs. Get rid of shit you never meant to download or use- massive collections of books, manga, or just articles apply. Sometimes, you may find it best just to delete everything and start over: give your PC a fresh new start that doesn't involve laggy shit. Boot and nuke the fucker.

As for new programs and recordkeeping? Get a decent e-mail, calendar, and general info program- I use Thunderbird and Google Calendar. Get an RSS reader instead of trolling blogs all the time. Get rid of excess e-mail accounts, or, if you host them (like I recommend doing if you have a server), optimize them into one big professional account and one crap account. Use the professional account (with your name on it) for important shit like work, the crap one for signing up to horseshit like Youtube. Get Pidgin for IMs too- don't bother with excessive IM accounts.

I hate to say this lest I sound like another faggot blogger kissing Google's ass, but Google Calendar, Gmail, and basically everything Google features will be useful to you for two reasons: They are 100% reliable to a fault, and they are accessible from anywhere. Plus, for those of you with PDAs or smartphones, they have some pretty sweet mobile versions, which especially comes handy with scheduling and the like.

Why do all this shit? You will save time. I'm not kidding. Optimize all your useless browsing and suddenly you'll have time for much more than you ever thought possible. Try it and see. Once you get used to the new ways of doing things, you'll never go back.

Host a party.
Biggest pain in the ass on this list, but a good thing to do. Nothing will get you out there more than hosting a party- just grab some folks and do something. It depends on your friends and your likes, but you can even hold a "party" just by playing video games, watching a movie, or something simple- no matter how old you are, you can get away with shit like that. No-one's asking you to hold a motherfucking ball in your place.

Just from experience, if you do alcohol, be fucking reasonable. My personal taste means I hate keggers, thus I advise against providing like incredible amounts of alcohol for no reason, just because your typical douche goes overboard. However, if it's close friends, drink yourself silly- just remember, the more open it is, the more fucked up shit can get if things go bad and someone decides torching your bed is "funny".

Hating on Women, laundry, and GQ

2008-01-24T13:14:00.000-08:00

I'm tired of spending money on women and wasting my time for nothing. Should I even bother anymore? (Truncated because it was a long fucking question)

Well, first off, you've began to realize what some believe to be the "pussy on the pedestal" society we've evolved into- that is, you're realizing what modern dating has become. Thanks to the commercialization of most romantic things, some/most girls have this presumption that guys need to spend upwards of $1k on them on any given date- and I'm not kidding. It's not misogynistic to realize you're getting screwed.

I would recommend searching for girls who don't expect money in their hands for a date. There are some. You know, I hate to say this because I personally have a chip on my shoulder about religion (my childhood could be part of the movie "Jesus Camp"), but good old fashioned Christfag girls are the fucking salt of the earth when it comes to this stuff.

The rule? Don't ever date a girl who expects you to spend big time money. That's simple enough. You are not an endless supply of cash and you know it, and Anna-Nichole-Smith-wannabes will realize that eventually. Don't bother.

How the fuck do I do laundry?

....

Stick clothes in washing machine. Put laundry detergent into hole. Close door. Turn machine on. Wait until it finishes. Put clothes in dryer. Turn dryer on. Take clothes out. Fold clothes.

And you're done.

What do you think of GQ?

We've all read it at one point or another, and I really like their 30 days of style concept, but GQ is far too off-the-motherfucking-wall for any practical use. Reading GQ is like reading casemod forums: you have to realize that 99.9% of the shit that they recommend you do, you should never do in your life. GQ has fucked up too many times for me to trust them.

Incidentally, I don't know why they are so motherfucking obsessed with thin little skinny suits on models with no belts. Some of the shirts and ties they pick are atrocious, if not fucking embarrassing.

Should I buy a trenchcoat?

Do you have a geeky look to you- e.g. unkempt hair, pimples, excessive skinniness?
Are you in any way/shape/form antisocial?
Do you want a trenchcoat to look like the guys from The Matrix?

If you answered yes to any of those questions, no. Otherwise, maybe. Trenchcoats are touchy subjects- avoid getting excessive leather or shit like that. Burberry tends to be the most stylish and longest lasting, but with price tags up around the $1700 mark.... you don't need one that badly.

If you're just looking for something to wear over a suit, try a black wool jacket that goes down to your knees. Very urban, very nice, and best of all, not $1700+.

Should I shave my pubes?

Only if your girlfriend wants you to, or you're in a situation where it's expected. Or if you're like a fucking jungle. Sometimes that freshy shaven baby ass pornstar look can scare girls off.

When can I wear camo?

When it's motherfucking legitimate camouflage. No, you cannot wear camo hoodies, pink camo, gray camo, or any of that shit that seems to be popular with those who wish to either hide in rose bushes or city streets. If you have some real god damn camouflage stuff (for example, old camo pants or a top), wear it with pride. You can make quite a fashion statement by wearing a black shirt and camo pants, just so long as it isn't overly militaristic- and if it IS, you can always get away with turning on the women who like a guy in uniform.

Oh yeah, and on that note, going "military style" can actually be rather cool. Military-style coats can be pretty damn good looking.

MOAR QUESTIONS

2008-01-23T19:05:00.000-08:00

What is TWAC editors' collective opinion on escorts (hookers)? "Civilian" women are frankly too much trouble for a socially-stunted virgin to handle. Besides, a good fuck from a (clean) hooker is $300.

Imagine one big epic battle of opinion. Some of us seem to think it's not a horrible idea, while some of us don't like it from a more romantic perspective (ergo, we don't like it from a "wait for your soulmate" type shit). In general, it all relies on your view of sex in general, and if you consider it something worth waiting for or just the equivalent of a really long kiss with lots of strings attached.

tl;dr, if you're in a situation where you literally want to get out there and fuck something, hookers aren't a bad choice. I, the Wikisysop, tend to actually have nothing against hookers, as it literally is the oldest profession, and in the sense of Penn and Teller, it really hurts no-one. Hookers are dangerous nowadays because they are an illegal commodity- kinda like how most hardcore drugs wouldn't be loaded with rat poison if it wasn't for the fact that it's illegal and people have to extend what they can get.

Let me make it fairly easy to understand. If you're just horny, don't let sex dictate a $300 fuck with some prostitute- focus in on getting a girl and there you go. However, if you're the epitome of the 40 year old virgin, I think it may do you well to get experience. If you're a responsible adult who just needs to have that start to break out of his shell, it would do you better than to fuck some prostitutes and feel better about yourself than to close yourself away your whole life.

I'm getting into politics. How obvious should I be about my work?

Some of us on TWAC are closely affiliated with politics (some of us actually working in that realm), so this is something we can answer. Fuck yes.

The old rule used to be to never talk about politics, sex, religion, or business in social settings, and it's somewhat still true. It's kinda stupid to run around screaming "RON PAUL 08" all over the fucking place- it tends to make most people hate you more than like you, because most people in normal society (e.g. not /b/) are going to have varying politicians they like. Unfortunately, this, for the most part, means you'll have some fags who will talk to you about THEIR politician- but yeah, avoid it.

Note that I absofuckinglutely hate Obama supporters- not because I hate Obama. More like because I just hate having that damn logo shoved in my face 24/7 by braless hippies in my city.

I want to get my girlfriend into Anime. Any ideas?

God, fine, I'll respond, shoot me in the fucking face.

Try to get her into something reasonable. No god damn Hentai, unless you're sexual with her. Just keep it something relaxed and normal. Try something somewhat fun but not too Japanese- Cowboy Bebop would be good for a girl into action (which is somewhat rare). Maybe a move like 5cm/sec?

Sex tips /b/ will never tell you

2008-01-20T14:18:00.000-08:00

You know, I've noticed a startling amount of shit that's posted on /b/ equating to "sex tips"- you know, shit that ends up being absolutely false or trolling to convince weak idiots that they can become sexual stallions by obeying arcane rules. It's not fair, so fuck it, let TWCA take a hit at this- here, I'm going to provide 5 pointers that will clarify some shit that you've heard-and not heard- through /b/ sex talks.

5. Whiskey dick is real.

Everyone will tell you going out and partying is a way to get laid, which is fairly true (if you want to get laid with hollaback girls, but I've bitched about that before). What they generally forget to tell you is that the drunker you are, the harder it is to fuck something. In fact, if you get drunk, more than likely your perception of your dick giving abilities is much higher than what you're actually giving. Nothing is hurt by having a small drink, but don't expect to be a god of ramming a girl's slit if you're drunker than an Irish dockworker.

4. Exercising will pump your sex drive up.

Weight lifting and a LITTLE BIT of running will make you an animal- testosterone and whatnot. This can be very helpful, because it ends up meaning you do better in bed- and obviously look better while doing it. If you slack off a lot, don't exercise, or just get off on being naturally skinny, you will find it harder to perform like someone who is strong/virile. Even a teensy bit of weight lifting will give you that boost- fucking use it.

Oh yeah, and for the extremely stupid, steroids are counterproductive, don't do that shit.

3. Girls like balls in bed.

Push her up against the wall. Don't go into some sort of ROID RAGE fit and toss her around, but seriously be a bit dominant. That's all I'm saying. Try it.

Also, while I'm on that topic, let me say this right now: You're in it for the physical pleasure, she's in it for the emotional. Focus on the emotional scene and she'll be in it 100x more than she was previously. It's a difficult thing to do, but give it a try: it's the exact reason why more girls get off on erotic stories than on oldschool porn.

2. Jacking off is killing your sex drive.

Nuff said. If you can only get off to /d/ material, it's going to be damn hard to get off on some normal chick. A little fapping isn't bad, but going overboard (like, obsessively) will make you somewhat numb to the entire concept.

As well, there's the "bodily need" theory, which is if you don't for a while, your body will begin making more conscious efforts to find something to fuck. Case in point, if your body keeps screaming "GET LAID", you'll have more balls to go hit on girls. I'm not sure how true this is (and it can backfire if you're really shy or just don't care), but it's worked for some.

1. No seriously, sex isn't that important.

Finally, sex isn't that important. In fact, ask most people: sex is awesome, but if the relationship sucks, it's gonna suck. I know this sounds un-manly of me, but get your head out of your ass and stop listening to the TV and porn sites. Sex isn't everything, and fuck it, people can go without it. Monks did, and continue to do so, their whole lives.

This actually plays in your favor. The first way to get sex, if you want it, is to stop caring so god damn much about sex. Girls can read if you're after their bodies, and it ends up fucking up on you. Take some zen time to just mellow out about the whole thing, then go in with a clear head: you'll make it out much better than you would normally. Trust me.

Balding, Girls, and Technology

2008-01-05T22:18:00.001-08:00

Saw some questions on 4chan and I couldn't help but want to respond.

I'm an 18year old male and I'm going bald the. Males in my family have a full head of hair to death. i dont know what to do?

Shave your head bald. There are a few reasons for this- so instead of sitting here on a long rant, let me make this quick and simple:

1. Balding = Testosterone. Despite what a bunch of /a/tards will tell you, long beautiful man hair into your 50s is strange. This is generally why a lot of people are having trouble accepting Mitt Romney on the Republican side- other than the whole crazyass mormon thing, the man is so obviously either using a rug or hair dye (or some combination) it isn't even funny. As you get older, men bald. Deal with it. Most women know and expect this, and this is not a negative.

2. It's confident. Using some strange hair gel shows fear- it shows that you're vain and worried about your hair. That's not manly, that's for fucking women. Let's face it, it looks somewhat weak if you're a guy and worried about keeping your hair. I know it's something we do worry about, but it's something you have to suck up. Shaving your head is basically the equivalent of showing one big middle finger to everyone around you. Plus, let's face it, thanks to Vin Diesel and similar actors, you'll get some poon.

3. Nothing is worse than a thinning combover.

/b/ wuts the best way to lose weight?

This is MUCH better covered in the actual Well Cultured Anonymous on Wikichan, but let me quickly make some points (like above) to give you somewhere to start:

- Exercise like a madman. Weight train for 15 minutes, run for 15 minutes. The next week, weight train for 30, run for 30. Keep this pace going.

- Stop eating all junk food for the time being. It will suck, but your body will quickly adapt. No fast food, no sodas.

- Drink lots of water. Lots.

- Relax. Stress builds weight. Get good sleep, enjoy your life a bit more.

Where should I go to meet good girls?

As I've noticed recently, there are a lot of questions like this. Want the plain and simple answer?

Anywhere but a frat-ish party.

Sure, no doubt your good friends have told you to go to their party and get boozed up and fuck some chick, but keep in mind it's not exactly the best thing to do. But let me explain why.

First off, let me define "frat-ish". For now, let's say a "frat-ish" party is one of those parties full of faggots drinking warm beer in some torn up house. You know the kind- those where you walk in and some fraternity brother gives you a big hug and feels your ass because he's too loaded to know you're male.

Why? Because the girls there aren't worth it. Yes, I know people always scream about how wonderful they are and how they "get laid", but you need to understand that to find GOOD and DECENT girls, you're not going to find them sucking the keg dry at some guy's party in his basement. You will find easy girls, you will find boring ones. You may find a nice girl or two, but that's exceedingly rare.

tl;dr, grow up. Go to parties that matter. If you're out of the shithole that can be College, go to a ball or to different parties that are held by singles clubs in the area. Join different organizations just for the social events. Be charming, be interesting, and be fun. Your real personality and interests will matter because you won't be yelling over loud music half-drunk with some wannabe hooker in cheap Aeropostale jeans. Long story short? You'll do well.

How do I get my computer setup/fanaticism where I don't seem so geeky?

As a longtime /g/ poster, I feel semi-qualified to reply to this, so I'll go for it.

First off, the important thing to realize is that being a geek is not always bad. As the phrase goes, "geek is chic", you just have to do it well. Having a powerful computer or a three monitor setup is obviously something that most of us want/have (and something your average gamer doesn't have), but something that doesn't have to scare off people. This is presuming that you're worried about people "walking in and laughing at my system" or something, an arcane topic, but something that I suppose is relevant.

Because I'm in a bullet mood (which again means I'm lazy and typing this at 1:40 in the morning), I'll make some tips that I've seen building PCs myself:

- Don't go for anything too kwality. Really fucking expensive ugly cases have no place in your room, ever. The same goes for LEDs, or just generally anything that The same applies to ricer-quality designs, or any use of any part that has "Fatal1ty" on it.

- Avoid overly complex/expensive shit if it's just for the sake of complexity/expensiveness. Many of us operate just fine in the technology industry without having a LED display showing us our core temperature 24/7.

- If you have a work PC or a laptop you carry around (or a PDA or something like that), avoid gaudy/ugly wallpapers, naked Anime girls included.

- Try to avoid being tethered to technology. You do not need an iPod or a Cell Phone strapped to your belt, that looks stupid. I have a rather large PDA-phone for work (a HTC Mogul VX6800), and I keep it in my inside suit pocket away from anywhere in public view. Do the same, no-one is impressed.

- In general, just avoid going overboard. Don't come across like that Andy kid who is obsessed with Peach- don't cover your wall with posters or something stupid like that.

I know this is an odd topic, but I think I will eventually make a post outlining some general tips on how to properly outfit your apartment/dorm/room/whatever where you can live comfortably, but not come across as a complete geeky 'tard- but more on that later.

Five Things you must have (or be working on)

2007-12-29T14:56:00.000-08:00

While I won't do a full article because Christmas break from work equals me drinking and playing Clannad like a crazed unshaven mother fucker (and sending vague e-mails to coworkers explaining why I'm not picking up my phone until we all go back to work), I'll touch on something somewhat important- five things you need to have, right now.

5. Business Cards (If you're not working at McDonalds)

Business Cards used to be things of some sort of mystery and power, only for the elite who needed to hand out cards instead of introducing themselves, but this is no longer true. Printing costs are fairly cheap for such things, and you can buy little pre-printable card templates for your printer- so get business cards. Business cards are motherfucking important when it comes to work, because most of us won't remember who the hell you are once you walk off. There's really an art to this kind of thing (beyond the whole jokes spawning from the scene in American Psycho), so get someone who knows what they are doing and print maybe 20, and keep 5 or so in your wallet.

This is especially important if you intend to ever go to Japan, where it is considered ultimate fail if you don't have a business card to trade with someone. It's like fucking Pokemon Cards over there.

4. A fucking normal e-mail address

lolcats@hotmail.com was cute in 1995, but it's old and dead now. I don't know how many times I have seen resumes with shit like that on it (like "gangsta2001@comcast.net" or some horseshit) and thrown the application in the trash, and possibly burned it to purify my trash can.

I know it's not very Anonymous or whatever the hell, but get one that's something like this:
firstname.lastname@yourdomain.com
firstname@lastname.com
Or even use your school e-mail address, if you're still in a University or something. Hotmail is fucking AIDs.

3. A fireproof box full of important information

If you're finally beginning to start a life for yourself (be it graduating out of college or just starting a job), get a fireproof box of some sort and store key information in there- including your birth certificate, any bank information, your Social Security card, and basically anything else of extreme value. This will save your ass in the long run. In a more modern sense, you could also potentially throw a flash drive full of important online passwords or something- just keep it somewhere safe and fire/floodproof.

2. A Business Suit

I have ranted about this before, so I won't say much on it except one thing: get one that fits and looks nice. A nice, classy, black suit. No fancy trim. No stupid accessories. Two buttons or three buttons, doesn't matter. Get it fit perfectly, tailored exactly to your body. Get one or two dress shirts to go with it (one must be white), and two ties that don't involve 8-bit things. Fuck what everyone is saying about Google being some sort of start of change and "Casual Friday" being "Casual Everyday"- if you intend to go to the top, you will never do so wearing jeans and a t-shirt.

1. A CV/Resume (Available online, if possible)

Start working on one ASAP. Remember, there may always be a new job opportunity for you, and you don't want to be holding your dick in your hands staring at a computer screen trying to come up with some hacked up CV in an hour before you show up to a job interview. Get one as perfect as you can, and continually add new stuff to it as you go along. And, if you have a website or something (which would go along nicely with the e-mail portion of this blog, I might add), then go ahead and put it on there. You never know where your next employer might be.

Additionally, let me add a footnote to all of this. I'm working on a rather large project at the moment of a rather sensitive nature, so I won't be completely free to complete this, but I will announce that I intend to start a rather large "accessory" to Wikichan fairly soon, something I think a lot of people have been wanting for some time. It won't follow the traditional *chan fare (because I'm not the kind of fucking idiot who thinks making another generic *chan board would be a good idea), but it will be relevant and interesting. I'll keep you posted.

Misc Questions from Anonymous

2007-12-21T22:24:00.000-08:00

Because I'm a lazy fuckshit, I'm just going to answer some questions instead of actually bothering to come up with topics on my own. Feel free to pick my brain on Wikichan or on here, or just by contacting me if I'm somewhere prevalent (like if I ID myself on a 4chan thread)- I like answering questions because sometimes it means thinking less than sitting down with a coffee and trying to figure out what the fuck I'm going to post next.

What's the quickest way to get laid?

Actually, I'm the worst person to ask on this topic. I'm a big advocate of the policy that I don't fuck something unless I love it, and currently I'm basically just having to love my hand a whole not.

I'm actually fairly serious. It's a bad thing to walk into relationships with the undercurrent of trying to get laid. By all means, I'm not saying go around in a chastity belt, but I personally know well that if you operate in the general direction of getting your penis in something quickly, you will fuck up quickly. I have never met a worthwhile girl who was willing to open her legs up when I snapped my fingers. Girls who do so fall into various categories- histrionic, desperate, stupid, or the like- but all end up being horrible when they aren't riding your man-meat. Look, fap away and get all of that energy out of you until you meet a girl that's really worth it, then fuck her until she passes out, but don't get desperate. Girls can tell anyway.

Is long hair really that bad?

No. Actually, it can be defining. Personally, I still look like a character from the anime Rose of Versailles if I try to pull that shit off (and I did until very recently), but for some people, it works well. It really depends on how you look in general- as I've mentioned before in various circumstances, find an honest girl and ask her what she thinks. Do note that whatever you do, keep it clean and neat. You can let it be wild only to a certain point, and when it looks greasy, it's horrible.

Oh yeah, and on that note, for those of you worrying about balding, seriously, don't. Most of us probably will. This isn't bad, really, just shave your head bald. Nothing spells "I have some fucking testicles" than not being a wimp and coming up with some odd combover to hide it.

Are you gay?

No. I'm one of the few *chan admins who is not, to be honest. This fact creeps me out.

Should I invest in stocks or stuff like that?

Yes and no. First off, it's always good to build yourself up a good cache of money just in case shit goes to hell- a rainy day fund. However, stocks aren't exactly a good place to put ANYTHING, rainy day funds included. Putting money in raw stocks (as in, putting them in specific stocks yourself) can be dangerous unless you know what the fuck you're doing, and even those of us who research it are basically guessing and praying a lot.

Personally, I find your best option to get into the "make my money work for me" field is to check out decent mutual funds. Mutual Funds are awesome in that they don't make you work too hard, and some of them (like the high growth Russian-roulette-esque ones) can have some kickass paybacks in the long run.

Note that I advise everyone to begin saving a little money and putting it into mutual funds. Without going into a pre-prepared speech on it, the long story short is that if you would sit $1k in a safe mutual fund right now, when you hit retiring age, you will have something like $100,000. That seems like a long time, but it's something to consider if you're working.

Should I contribute the full amount to my 401k/Roth IRA?

Yes, do it, now. No fucking whining. Tax deductible shit is always a plus.

What do you think of the (RED) campaign? Is it hip?

It's fucking stupid. This may be the inner cynic in me, but if a company tells you it's going to donate money for your purchase, most of the time they end up pocketing good money too. On top of that, I personally think it's a joke to throw so much raw money into Africa when we really don't do anything actually efficient (like assassinating the frauds that call themselves leaders down there). (RED) basically uses astroturfing bullshit to consider middle aged women they are saving lives. The way (RED) is marketed pisses me off to my very core.

You should never get into some sort of donation or fund because it's trendy, be it (RED), Livestrong, or any of that other horseshit. Legitimate practices or not, you are a tool if you get into something like that because it's trendy. You may as well be a 13 year old kid adding Obama to your Myspace friend's list because your other friends did- it doesn't matter if Obama is worth a shit or not, you're a tool.

If you want to donate money, do it legitimately. The government will give you a tax break for your time, too.

10 fashion things you should never do

2007-12-18T22:12:00.000-08:00

First off, two little notes before I get into my normal tirade. One, Wikichan.org is back up, but severely limited because of our server situation. Secondly, I recommend everyone looking for a basic primer on clothing and style sign up for GQ's 30-days-of-style thing, which can be found at http://men.style.com/gq/ . tl;dr, they send you 30 days worth of fashion tips, mainly around the concept of fitting your clothing and other similar ideas. It's nothing amazing nor mindblowing, but it's GQ when it's trying to be simple and non-metrosexual, which is good.

Being obsessive compulsive and borderline lazy, today I've decided that I'm gonna go fairly simple and just list 10 things I have noticed in recent fashion that you, a presumably heterosexual male, should never do lest you look like an entire douche. Unless you live in some cutaway of the world where you can get away with this shit because everyone else is naked (or, alternatively, you're still in highschool and everyone's dumber than shit anyway), NEVER do the following:

10. NEVER wear alcohol-related clothing.

This is fairly simple and actually ties into a few below, so I'll keep it simple: going anywhere in a Budweiser t-shirt is tantamount to wearing one of those tuxedo t-shirts to a wedding. It may have been cute when you were a highschooler and when such things were risque, but all of us have drank plenty in our lives, and we know what the logo looks like. Now, there is an exception to such a rule in that classy t-shirts (such as logos for foreign alcohol distributors) can be rather interesting in a very casual setting, but naturally having "COORS" on your chest makes you look like a 'tard (and someone with incredibly bad taste in beer).

9. NEVER try to look like an Anime character.

This goes without saying. I'm the first to admit I'm a weeaboo, but even the Japanese don't really look like that, so give it up right now. Growing your hair out to your shoulders will not make you look like the aloof guy from KimiKiss or something, it will make you look like you jerk off to Anime porn (a truth which must be hidden from the general populace as much as possible). Do not dye your hair. Do not wear a kimono. Do not get dumbfuck Japanese/Chinese tattoos, those of us who actually know Japanese/Chinese will want to beat the living fuck out of you. The world has finally figured out what an Otaku looks like, so don't think you can sneak by with it.

8. NEVER wear sandals all the god damn time.

I saw a kid at the mall yesterday wearing sandals. It was ~10 degrees outside. Granted, he was inside a mall, but I began to notice a lot of people in sandals. In the middle of fucking December during Christmas shopping when it was so cold outside that I could sit my Starbucks Frappuchino on the hood of my car and it would begin to freeze solid. I blame Abercrombie and Fitch for this horseshit, because it seems like everyone has this perpetual summer thing going on, which is foolish. Go get some normal shoes and accept it's colder than a witch's tit like everyone else.

7. NEVER look like a fratboy outside of a frathouse.

I see this a lot with the post-graduate assholes, the kind of guys who were Poli Sci majors with 2.5 GPAs coming out of some jackoff ivy league school being rocketed into some meaningless position in society. The answer to all social functions is not "Ralph Lauren and bright easter egg colors", and anyone who thinks otherwise is either drunk or a frat brother. Trust me, we are in the 21st century, the rest of us in the business world have long since discovered what fratboys look like, and if we see you sauntering down the road in pink khakis and an untailored yellow button up with a glass of wine in your hand, you will understand why we all treat you like you're six years old.

6. NEVER ignore your hair.

This sounds ridiculous, but it's true. There is nothing worse than getting a generic white-boy I'm-working-for-daddy's-company caesar cut and not touching it with anything. I'm not saying to go out and fill it with product and the like, but try to be a bit more adventurous and stylish. Let's face it- people may make fun of using product in your hair, but thus is the way of people like Brad Pitt, and even though I hate him with a passion, he gets pussy. Fuck, look at Wilmer Valderrama- he's a playboy, but he gets more pussy than a gynecologist. Point proven.

5. NEVER underdress at work.

"Casual Fridays" or the general concept of "Corporate Casual" is dead, even MSNBC and other news organizations agree. Sure, Google may be doing it more and more, but that's it- after numerous experiments, it's official: wearing a suit or professional clothing makes you act your part. This is why countries like Japan and China wear suits a lot and seem stuffy: they know to dress the part. The best example of why not to do this is to look at John McCain's campaign and his attempt at "softening" his image with sweaters and stuff. He looked like one giant killer teddy bear who can't lift his arms high enough to hug you. No-one will take him seriously as ANYTHING unless he dresses like he has sense, which is why he's back in his suit-and-tie ensemble nowadays. Follow suit.

4. NEVER wear "funny" or "joke" t-shirts.

If you haven't figured this out by now, you are fucked.

3. NEVER dress like a "Gangster" or other related shit.

I had a roommate like this once. Fucker ran around all day shaving his head bald, wearing baggy polos (I think he was stuck in the 80's or some shit), and basically behaving like an idiot. Surprise surprise, only dumb girls were into him. Even if you are black, dressing like a gangster makes you appear low class, cheap, and basically stupid. Even Sean Combs has realized that there is much more to be said dressing in a professional way rather than dressing like Soulja Boy. Then again, his people are still working on him, but I digress. Enjoy rap all you want, dressing like you intend to mug someone at a 7-11 is foolish in all regards.

2. NEVER Buy/Wear/Steal anything from Hot Topic

I am perpetually amazed at how much of a market share Hot Topic still has. Who wears this shit anymore? For the most part, Hot Topic has (and generally always has) been full of consumerist shit that just hyped up bad bands so 13 year old Harry Potter fanfic writing girls would buy them and she-fap over the lead singer from My Chemical Romance. Sure, goth girls may be kinda cute and hot, but guys do not have this kind of ability from Hot Topic clothes. I and many of my friends have gotten much more attention from the "goth" kinda girls from being normal/not dressing up to the part rather than going for the "Emo" or "goth" look, because despite the fad, girls still want masculinity and a guy who wears jeans that don't cut the circulation off from his cock.

This does include band t-shirts. If you must, keep them for rare occasions, and remember the rule to never wear a band's t-shirt to their concert. Not because it's not fashionable. You'll just look like a douche.

1. NEVER wear sweats outside of a gym or your own home.

Welcome to my new pet peeve. I do not know why, but it seems to me that a lot of people are wearing sweats (mainly sweatpants) out like they are a new trend. They are not and they will never become so. Wearing a tracksuit around makes you look like a sexually repressed 20-something Japanese middle school teacher, not a normal person. Sweatpants and track suits are great for exercising, but if you wear them often, you will end up looking out of place, and often look quite lazy. And let's face it, you'll look childish: it will look like you wore them because you didn't know how to zip up your pants. Wear them around the house in your t-shirts from Hot Topic and wear a five foot long gold chain for all I care, just don't do it in public or else you'll make everyone around you want to cry in vain.

AN ACTUAL POST + Wikichan

2007-12-16T22:30:00.000-08:00

First of all, Wikichan is down for some reason, even I don't know why. Needless to say, I'm getting no response from our hosting guys, so I'll be moving it onto a personal server very soon which I share with others. I'll probably have to limit it heavily, but it's the best I can do considering- anyone have any other ideas?

Anyway, a post. Just because it's 1:30AM and I'm really tired (I've been working a lot lately, thus the lack of posts), I'm going to just throw some shit down I've had jotted down for the last week or so that you may find interesting. Or may not, who knows. I'll do research on some new fashion trends to pick up for post-xmas shopping soon, but until then, my mind is fucked like a shota in a NAMBLA conference hotel.

- Somehow, lots of guys have been reporting to me that the vidya (as in, video games for you non-/v/ types) can get you laid within reason. For those of you in a shared apartment situation or just a place where lots of women are around, you would be surprised the amount of girls that want to pick up a game controller, so these reports actually have some validity. Typically, though, your average girl is going to want to pick up a generic game (some Wii game, Halo, a generic fighter, etc) and try it- don't get all /v/tard on them and yell at them. Also note that I am a sleezeball and have used DDR to my advantage with big breasted girls for the last four years and it has worked just fine for me.

- As Christmas is coming around, lots of people are out for Christmas in some form or another- most of us have long breaks off work, most highschool/college students have Christmas break, and so on. This generally means people are in the mood to enjoy themselves, so this is a great time to talk to people randomly in locations- meaning, go out and just be friendly while shopping. Do understand, though, that you may randomly get your head bitten off- the holiday season is kinda fucked up for obvious consumer reasons, so who knows.

- On the "Money and Finance" side of things, most businesses (especially car dealerships and other high-value stores) will be trying to sell off stock to avoid nasty tax issues. This is why you get a lot of "blowout" sales around this time. While this is obviously jacked up because of Christmas, you can make some smart purchases around this time. However, avoid spending TOO much: NEVER EVER EVER put anything on "Store credit" or get a payment plan unless it's something extremely expensive, and then, get it through a bank via a loan. Store payment plans for jewelry, technology, and other forms of high dollar items tend to have extremely jacked up rates that will hit your wallet like a fucking sledgehammer.

- Another note about Christmas, because apparently it's so fucking important or something. You will end up eating a lot of food and no doubt gaining some weight, that's fine. Try to exercise, but do understand that it happens to most people in some form or another, especially if you're on some bastardized form of a "Christmas party circuit" where it seems like all the parties blend together into one big mash of egg nog and football. Plus, it's colder than a witch's tit and the streets are packed with fucktard drivers, so it's hard to exercise. Just take it lightly and try to avoid doing TOO much.

Anyway, I'm going to try to post more often or try to get some of the other authors on here more often. We're all busy trying to figure out what the fuck to do with Wikichan as well as launching a Animu site with a tracker/gallery/translation type thing going for it, plus obviously we all work so we can afford our masturbation material. Give us lenience and keep checking back.

Living above the dumbass fray in University/College

2007-11-27T08:23:00.000-08:00

I saw a resume today for some girl I was sitting with in a meeting, and I wanted to bust out laughing. Why?

Her greatest achievement- that is, the bigass thing that she thinks will get her a job- is the fact that she was a "Social Co-ordinator" in a sorority, in control of over $2,000 in one semester at college.

Now, I know this sounds somewhat ridiculous for me to laugh at- but knowing what college she went to, and then how she managed to major in something somewhat useless and do nothing but party... it's sad. It's depressing. Fuck, it makes you want to knife her for wasting a perfectly good education getting drunk and getting fucked all day. There is no excuse for spending over $50,000 in tuition fees when you are only going to sit on your ass and drink beer and fuck guys- she can do that outside of college, albeit it may mean she has to work.

The message I'm trying to say here is that the average geek needs to understand that as attractive as "goin out and gettin laid" sounds, it has a lot of negative connotations. More succinctly, your average partier in college will more than likely fuck up his or her chances twenty times over just to run around drunk and horny. Thus, this article is going to be some basic points for those of you in College/University or those of you planning to go- basically, a list of things you can do to make yourself 20x smarter than the guy sitting beside you.

5. Major in something worthwhile.

This sounds like something ridiculous for me to say, but I'll say it anyway: don't major in Communications, "General Studies", or other famous football majors. You will get nowhere. In general, the idea of going to college is to further your education so you can get a better job or have a better lifestyle that you want, not to "get through it". With that in mind, majors like "Women and Gender Studies" are reputable only in the most arcane of situations (such as going into family law, if you're REALLY into that, which I wouldn't recommend in the first place but I'm not going to rant on here).

If you need a good major, I will be biased here and say go for your weeaboo instinct and take an Asian language- Chinese or Japanese, preferably- and minor in it, and accompany it with a decent degree in some other field. Much like Arabic was a few years ago, the world is clamoring for people who can do a job (such as translation), but they don't just want some Joe Somebody walking in- they want someone with experience. In general, ANY foreign language has this benefit to some degree.

Another good idea to point out is, unfortunately, the sciences that do not start with "Computer". Computer Science is an overcrowded field nowadays due to fuckheads at various technical schools, so unless you grossly surpass people coming from ITT Tech, you're fucked. However, America severely needs a new generation of scientists, especially in the physics/chemistry fields- and if you like it, you'll make mondo cash.

Don't take this as a requirement you should take something you don't like, though. Just understand that taking "general studies" is a pussy way to go to college, and you should be shot for doing so.

4. Don't join a frat unless they have their heads screwed on right.

I won't go into much detail because it's obvious I hate Fraternities with a passion. Fraternities and Sororities, to me, were once useful and good groups of like minded hard working individuals, but are now fucking useless party clubs that wear colorful t-shirts and have GPAs that make you want to cry.

That's not to say frat guys are idiots or anything, it's simply the fact that they do not do much other than drink and party, and it's a horrible way to waste an education, get expelled, or the like. Unless you find some frat that really knows what the fuck (there's generally a frat or two on your average campus that are the "nerds", which is often a good thing), don't bother. Do some investigation into the frat, and you'll usually get a good or bad feeling from it.

3. Exercise and take full use of college exercise equipment.

Most people do not realize this, but exercise helps you concentrate and generally feel better, as well as look good. Eating healthy is the same situation- in general, the Freshman 15 (or the subsequent Sophmore/Junior/Senior 15) should not happen, ever. In fact, in college, I lost 20lbs just from forgetting to eat and walking more than I drove- and you can follow the same pattern for good results. Generally, your mom's cooking will make you fatter than you realize, and college teaches you quickly that you really don't need to eat THAT much to survive.

Incidentally, college is a great place to start weight training, as they typically have full equipment available to you for FREE. While it seems somewhat silly to try to bulk up when all you do is study, it's a nice way to get stress out, and obviously you look a lot better than the idiots picking up the Freshman 15 as they screw around drinking and partying (note: Alcohol puts on a lot of weight). I'm not saying you can't have some fun and chow down on pizza and beer, but exercising and eating healthy pays back for the times when you're NOT doing that.

2. Don't kiss ass, but make friends with professors.

Seriously, professors can be very fun, so long as you aren't a dick. Obviously, there will be ones that want to slice your throat open (and I would recommend avoiding them, virtualratings is a blessing for freshman), but that only extends so far. Most professors genuinely like their topic, so if you study hard and make a good impression, you'll have an excellent reference for jobs, among other things.

Also note that the proverbial "hairline" rule applies- if you're on the line between getting a B or an A and the professor likes you, which do you think you'll get?

1. Exploit internships and scholarships like an abusive husband beats his wife.

When you step on campus, I don't care it will be four years till you graduate, get hunting now. Go take the PLSAT or the PGMAT or whatever the fuck you're interested in, and get some preliminary results. Go to the Career department of your college and get lists of internships. Go meet people and get career assessments. Just do it. It takes all of an hour in a day, and it ends up being a huge amount of availability for you in the future- most people don't realize that the simple fact you're a college student can land you in really nice jobs your freshman year, jobs that'll let you get a feel for your potential major.

On top of that, go get some scholarships. Just because you may not have some when you go on campus doesn't mean you can't reap them while you're on campus. Go find good programs (Rhodes is an example, but obviously that's rather difficult) and apply- even if you don't make it, it's good to try, and you never know what'll come from it. Trust me, if you can even shave off $1,000 off your tuition, it means there's more cash for you down the road to have, instead of using it to pay off expensive loans or fees.

Just try this stuff. It's not that hard. And trust me, one day, you won't be the idiot sitting in a meeting with a resume with "KAPPA (something something, fuck if I know what it was)" plastered on the top like some sort of motherfucking award.

Personal experiences in the land of Style

2007-11-20T22:07:00.000-08:00

One request I've gotten even back in the days when I (the Wikisysop) was writing TWCA was to actually fess up and talk about what I personally do. Fuck, it's somewhat natural: to some degree, no-one's going to believe a word you say unless they know you're running around being the motherfucking third degree black belt of style, grooming, and women picking-upping.

Actually, before I launch off into some shit I've learned, let me say that I'm actually a student of this shit myself. TWCA is more of an educational experience for me than a teaching opportunity: actually, what I put down was basically a compilation of other shit I have learned from people, not necessarily shit I invented myself. The best way to explain this is to basically say that the "Girls" section is all well and good, but I've still had my long history of crash-and-burns with women, to the point of being a fucking failure in that realm.

Still, that doesn't mean it's good information. It's a fucking Wiki, dammit: If I'm wrong, feel free to correct me. I, much like most opinion writers, write from a mixture of experience and study, and not so much from a guru-level specialization in the subject. Fuck, I go to 4chan, what do you expect?

So anyway, on to my personal experiences in style.

First off, let me explain a bit about myself. I'm a fairly decent looking guy, but I am no Adonis. Actually, my whole work into "make self look better" came into effect when I was 16 or so, when I discovered that rabidly playing 2D RPGs and programming shitty stuff on the computer would get me nowhere with women or self confidence, so I changed. I literally sat my ass down, watched geeky shows (I specifically remember watching Anime, shit I saved on VHS tapes like a little fucktarded weeaboo) and weight lifting in my basement. This went on to me cleaning up, getting more involved in fashion, getting out there with girls, and basically now turning into the guy I am now.

The funny thing is, I'm built like a football player. The first day I stepped onto my Uni campus, I went to the wrong gym- the football player gym- and no-one noticed I wasn't supposed to be there until about a day or two later. I'm not like some sort of Pro Wrestler with a huge neck/arms, but I am a muscular guy who looks like he does a lot of exercise (not really).

What does this mean? Stylistically, I'm both blessed and seriously fucked. Actually, most geeky guys are like me- your body builds out a lot stronger from weight lifting than you would think it would. Fuck, I've got a good buddy who gained 50lbs from weight lifting: It just fucking grows on you. That's not a bad thing, but when your shoulders are about 6 inches wider than your waist, things begin to get difficult in the fashion field.

So, instead of sitting here and telling you stories about myself (which is both vain and arrogant), I'll just list out my "essentials"- that is, the kind of fashion shit I live on. I've found things that work for me, and they have slowly become my bread and butter for my clothing style- even though admittedly I can be a slackass of fashion way too much nowadays.

So then, my essentials:

1. Timberland Oxfords

Okay, I'll admit, I never was one to run around hurting myself in defense of style. Tight pointed toed shoes hurt me like fuck, and even as a kid I liked a little toe room, as well as shoes that held up to practically everything I did in them. Essentially, I needed something that would let me run around any terrain, yet still looked good enough to go with decent outfits.

Timberland Oxfords are a fucking godsend, much like pornography. The Oxford style is good enough to let you wear them with more professional clothing (I've worn black ones with a suit like the slacker I am), and yet rough enough to wear with jeans or other forms of clothing. They aren't unusually thick or boot-like, yet the bottoms are solid enough where I can walk on broken glass and hike a mountain and still kick back without excess weight on my legs.

I consider these essential to my well being, considering I have two pairs and wear them more than I wear a shirt. Get some nice Gold Toe blue/black socks, these shoes, and rock it like you'll hike a mountain. 'cept no-one will ever know.

2. Banana Republic Fitted Tees

Allow me to admit a carnal sin: I like having muscles. I really do. I go to a sketchy party and no-one fucks with me because they know I can put their face through the table, and I can drink more than them on top of it because I have a bitching BMI. I like the way well fitted shirts fit- if you can show off a little bit of muscle without looking like a muscle head, you can instantly make yourself look model-esque. And that's good.

Banana Republic Fitted Tees are this. These t-shirts are well cut- not too big, not too small, and not cheezy like your generic Abercrombie and Fitch fare. These shirts work well as undershirts, plain old tees, or anything in between- and I can basically put them through hell and back and they survive. A good t-shirt can spell the difference between "good looking" and "wigger"- be the former, not the latter.

3. Hanes Boxer Briefs

Because sometimes it pays to look good when you are only in your underwear. Enough said on that.

4. JCrew Vintage Men's Fleece Hoodie

Let me be totally honest and get something off my chest. About two years ago, I once told a goth girl that the only reason she wore hoodies was to hide her "pale, ugly, fucking fat stomach". I then told her to go die and I think she committed suicide about a month later. I do not feel guilty.

Anyway, it's enough to say I don't like hoodies that much, because I think most teenagers wear them in lieu of actually wearing decent clothing- but this doesn't mean you can't wear them within reason. A nice, well made hoodie like JCrew makes serves many purposes, and actually looks rather urban if pulled off right. I rarely wear mine, but when I do, I do so with pride, god dammit. Fuck fat goths.

5. Eddie Bauer Leather Journeyman Leather Jacket

Jackets are the bread and butter of winter, and you can fuck them up pretty quickly. In general, unless you live on the motherfucking slopes of Alaska, running around in a The North Face jacket can be really fucking stupid: it's basically being a trendwhore for no reason, and it makes you look like you're either extremely cold or just fucking stupid.

With that in mind, this jacket fits me perfectly. I personally like leather (and meat and killing little children), so this not only fulfills my "an animal must have died for me to enjoy myself" requirement, but it also looks damn good. Now, I won't be one to run around screaming "BUY THIS NOW!"- it worked for me, I saved up some spare cash for it and got it- but the same principle applies. If you're going to go for a jacket, you can never go wrong with stuff like this- sure, Eddie Bauer may be for old and graying men, but it sure as fuck worked for me.

In conclusion, again, don't sit here and scrutinize my choices or posts. My goal for a lot of these posts is not to sit here and scream out "LISTEN TO ME AND GET WOMEN" (I'm looking at you, The Mystery Method), but rather to just begin a discussion on the topic, to help you understand what constitutes good heterosexual male style and what constitutes geeky little fucktard-wear (World of Warcraft t-shirts) or homosexual shit (Hairspray t-shirts). Maybe one day, we'll figure out what the fuck is the "perfect" method...

Until then.

Abusewhores

2007-11-13T19:32:00.000-08:00

Questions sent from readers:

How the fuck do I get girls to stop annoying me and using me for my shit?

tl;dr, this is a hard question to answer. I mean, in the purest sense, one has to say that there is no real perfect answer (most of the time, the girls who do that do that with anyone), but there are ways to AVOID situations like this, so I'll list them off. For the most part, this is advice coming from a few sources and the like, so don't rip my head off if it isn't your magical antidote to whores demanding shit from you.

1. Girls hang onto guys who provide them shit. It's the same thing how guys hang onto girls who give them sex, just less sex and plus emotional gratification or something similar. If you don't provide the girl with everything she wants, she's going to naturally stop hanging onto you for her every material/emotional need.

2. You may be coming across as an easy pushover. Never do this. Think a bit more about how you portray yourselves. Do you too often jump forward to give people what they need? There's obviously nothing wrong with being helpful, by all means, go for it: but there are times when you're being a wimpy dickshit who they are abusing. Do note that most strong love relationships do not involve any kind of dependency (that is, real relationships do not base themselves on someone asking you for shit).

3. Be forward about it. Nothing's manlier than telling a chick straight out that she's being demanding. It doesn't mean you have to be overly serious for it- joke around a bit, but get your point across. Testosterone doesn't hurt.

I'm in a position where I'm thrown a lot of chances to talk to this girl, but I never grab those chances. Is there a way for me to man the fuck up and talk to her?

Okay, feel relieved- we all have this issue. It's hard to invent confidence, even if you're normally a confident guy. For the most part, your average *channer (as in, your average geek) is a relatively smart and sleek guy, but women can be intimidating, especially when you get labeled the "long haired skinny geek" (which we're trying to avoid with TWCA, but I digress). So, some tips that I've had experience with:

1. Caffeine. Yes, it is a stimulant and most reputable medical schools are beginning to call it a drug, but I am addicted with it, along with a huge percentage of America and the entire world. Caffeine can be like liquid balls (like that stupid fucking gamer drink "Ballz") , and if you harness it right you can say and act like you want to, if only from raw energy. Do note that the only caveat to this is some of us (me) who normally talk quickly anyway (me) especially those who have done debate or other fast-speech training groups (me) will sound like a fucking machine gun that talks.

2. Fucking do it. No, seriously. Put yourselves up to the fire of experience. If you have a hard time talking to people, do it a lot of times. If you have a hard time smiling, do it a lot. Set benchmarks for yourself per day (like, "I'll talk to three people today") and work from there. Reward yourself with a nice meal or something. Keep doing this. Build it up. I know it's hard, but if you slowly do it, it will be fine.

One note though- this is not a promotion of the "go fuck a bunch of ugly girls before you do the good looking girl". You will never hear me on TWCA say that your goal is to fuck the girl at the end of "the game". In fact, TWCA is NOT about getting laid: that's for stupid books like "The Mystery Method" that make you look like a sex fiend on crack and will make you a vapid retard memorizing stupid patterns. TWCA is about bettering yourself, and inevitably finding a really awesome girl you want to be with, not one you want to plow with a one night stand. So don't do that.

3. Stop hanging around geeky friends so much. I had a good friend a looong time ago who was awesome, but would scare off girls like crazy with comments about Final Fantasy or similar RPG related stuff- or Anime, or anything similar. The issue with this is that you are associated too closely, and often you become "that geek" rather than anything else. Avoid this.

4. Get support from cool friends. Employ your buddies to help you and keep track of the benchmarks I mentioned above. Good friends knowing you're nervous will bring you into conversations and do all they can to get you in. It's hard to find a good friend like this, but when you do find one, go forth and conquer together.

5. Watch yourself. I hate to say this, but most of the time, when you idolize a girl, she can turn out exactly opposite of what you want. The imagination has a nasty tendency to make an angel out of a bitch, which can be a major problem. If it doesn't work out with this girl, this isn't game over- sometimes, you can simply not know what to look for. Keep your skills sharp and always be ready to pick up on a cute girl waiting right around the corner.

So there we go. Again, you can always comment with questions or concerns and I'll be glad to address them as soon as I can. Sorry for the delayed response- thanks guys!

Great tips for Winter

2007-11-07T12:25:00.000-08:00

Well, it's officially getting chilly and windy here on the East Coast of the US, and for most of us above the Equator, it means it's getting cold as a witch's tit, and obviously this throws a kink into that whole "go out and show your abs" thing, because you'll look like a fucktard. So what is there to do, fashion-wise, whilst in the cold of winter?

First of all, treat Winter like a nice little fashion blessing. If you're porky or a bit ugly body-wise, this is your time to go out and get ripped. Why? Because everyone else isn't (meaning the Gym is for you), and you can safely wear thick clothing and then reveal your heavily muscled self in the summer next year. Sure, it's a long term goal, but never think of Winter as making you uglier- it helps a lot.

But let me get back on the topic: clothing and fashion. I'll drop down five must-do tips for those of you trying to look a bit better this Winter:

1. Sweats are stupid. I said it. I have no idea why it has become so popular for twentysomethings to wear sweat suits and the like- it may just be the wannabe athletes, but it's still stupid as fuck. If you are going to wear something heavy, it better not look like a fucking track suit.

2. Scarves are your friend. No, seriously. It may be a little odd at first, but they keep your neck warm (which is nice) and also serve to make you look better. I'm not kidding when I say chicks rock out on that kind of stuff, and you'll look a bit more cultured wearing one.

3. Lots of us Fashion kiddies working on the Well Cultured Anonymous on wikichan.org agree: get a leather jacket and wear it, especially now in the fall. Leather jackets can be very classy- they aren't cheap and brightly colored, and they look mature and sleek. Just get one that looks reasonable (Eddie Bauer had some good ones last year) and it will last you centuries.

4. Now is the time to stop wearing t-shirts and flip flops. Being seen in this kind of shit makes you look stupid, not brave. Just make it a rule not to wear any of that shit from now on: even if it's "hot" inside, you look more seasonal. If things get warm, roll up your long sleeved shirts and rock that out- just don't go back to your summer-y stuff. You'll look like a fucking douche.

5. Darker colors. Summer is the time in which you can get away with white pants and the like, but now that it's winter, you want to avoid being TOO summery- and that includes wearing ALL white, like some sort of overly tanned porn star. While you obviously should avoid being bland, you can always safely get away with wearing more "urban" colors (darker greys, greens, blues, and the like) and look like you actually acknowledge Winter exists. Which is cool.

Anyway, I'll be sure to post more later- I'm working on a rather big post I'll make explaining the finite details of handling personal contacts, even though I'm getting help on this one: I'm infamous for sending e-mails saying things like "Fuck you I don't care what your opinion is", so I will be getting someone else to write it.

Oh yeah, and while I'm on the subject, you can contact me on Wikichan.org (my username is WikiSysop, obviously) if you want to write for this blog. We need more writers!

Movies Men Like

2007-11-02T22:28:00.000-07:00

One thing that has been bugging me for a while has been what most guys consider the "average joe" portrayal in films- that is, how guys are portrayed in relationships in recent movies. For example, think of the recent film Knocked Up- in an almost hyperfeminist fashion, the entire movie feels like one assault on the "average" guy, and everything associated with it.

So, the question is, what ARE good movies showing masculinity and style? So, for those of you interested in finding some films that are GOOD to emulate, I'll give you the top 5 I (and associates of mine) find representative of the masculine male.

5. Man on Fire

Man on Fire is a novel (and subsequently, a film) that essentially embodies the masculine view of being hard boiled, yet still being selfless and emotional. In the most recent version of the movie (starring Denzel Washington and Dakota Fanning), the movie inevitably ends in a gory and depressing way- yet the movie in and of itself presents that of a masculine overtone. Denzel Washington's character John Creasy is a man who has many flaws, but he works extremely hard to not only get the job done, but actually come to terms with his own needs and problems. If anything, Man on Fire is a movie about being more than a mercenary: it's about being a damn man, through and through.

4. 300

Mentioning 300 to the *chan community is essentially useless, but I think it's important to anyway. The thing that makes 300 a wonderful movie is not the extreme violence or lines made of pure awesome, but rather a sign of masculinity in respect to servitude for one's country. Unlike most films on this theme, 300 is not an American-jack-off-film about patriotism for the Red White and Blue- it's about being responsible and strong in general, even when you know you're gonna get fucked in the ass majorly. In a way, 300 is a symbol of how true challenges should be taken- not by bending over and taking whatever comes, but fighting it even if it seems (or is) impossible.

3. Oceans 11 (12, and 13)

Now, I've touched far too much on the topic of being overly "strong" masculine, so let's touch on the side of masculinity that is less strength oriented and more intelligence oriented. The Oceans series is absolutely nothing about being strong or brutely demanding anything- rather, it's about being clever and classy, and charming to boot. If anything, the Oceans series is like a textbook on how to be masculine in professional settings- not loud or ostentatious, but smart, quick, efficient, and well dressed on top of all of that. Plus, the series is absolutely hilarious at times. Worth a rent, for all means.

2. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

This movie almost explains itself. The character Indiana Jones is all about adventure and masculinity- that is, that desire to get out there and do what we all wanted to do as kids and explore and do fun things for the rest of our lives. However, Indiana Jones is also more than just the adventure- the character is intelligent and well spoken, which makes him more than a "Conan the Barbarian goes Exploring" kind of character- it's all about being smart and knowing how to be adventurous on top of that.

1. American Gangster

Go out and see this movie right now. American Gangster is the closest thing to a true movie about being a man that I have seen in a LONG time. Denzel Washington plays Frank Lucas, a man who is best known as the man behind mass drug smuggling using cadavers from Vietnam. And sure, that's horrible- but what American Gangster does is portray this beyond the concept of "drugs are bad", and shows a side of Frank Lucas as a man who takes himself with nothing and builds an empire to make a wonderful life for his family and his wife. By all means, Frank Lucas was not a man that should be emulated- but American Gangster is a movie that shows the side of raw masculinity that needs to be shown on movie screens today. Who the fuck wants to go watch something like "Knocked Up" and watch a fatass run around making sex jokes and consider that a "good example of men" when you can watch American Gangster and see the real shit?

Go rent/torrent this shit. Now.

To be a Geek

2007-11-02T11:13:00.000-07:00

Another recurring theme I keep getting from people in the Well Cultured Anonymous community via e-mail or whatever is that of being a "geek" (or essentially, a /b/tard)- and basically how it predisposes you from getting women of any kind. I felt like I'd write on it- and try not to be a single misogynistic bastard like I usually do when I talk about the vast majority of women.

First off, let me explain the current concept of what "we" are as "Geeks". "Geeks", for all intents and purposes, are people who do not fall into the mainstream, ie. those who either obsess over something (Vidya' games, movies, etc) or simply come across as hyperintelligent. For example, your vast majority of Math majors (bless their fucking insane souls) are like this- very smart and detail oriented, but usually socially fucktarded beyond belief. To some degree, it reminds me of the xkcd comic #55- even though mentioning that makes me sound like some odd facebook whore, and to be entirely honest, I hate math.

The real issue here is that how we as "geeks" prioritize sex. The (un-cited according to Wikiquote, fuck them) quote from Aldous Huxley seems to apply here- "An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.". In a way, this seems to explain a lot of the dynamics that go on in your typical workplace or school- those who are obsessed with sex are obviously after it. Hell, it doesn't mean that we WANT sex, but there is a strong difference between someone with interests pertaining to many things other than sex, and someone who runs around with their penis begging for any touching that they can get. Make sense?

The tl;dr here is that regarding being a "geek", you will more than likely never fit in. The Well Cultured Anonymous will never turn you into the football playing jock who gets to fuck the entire cheerleading team: It will never happen. The sheer fact you need a guide to this is an indicator that you're more intellectual than the rest (or just willing to "study" it), so you aren't going to be able to toss aside your intellect to find yourself like everyone else.

With that in mind, enjoy being a /b/tard. Relish it. We are a breed of people who know more than anyone else. Fuck, think about it: you may not be the kind of guy who has all the fun with all the "cool" kids, but in the long run, you will do much better, if not because you are self aware. Strive to make yourself a person who does well in society, but has an edge- an edge of the /b/tard, an edge of someone who knows more than anyone else.

This relates to women in a unique way. Let me be frank- you'll probably never be "hottt" enough to pick up one night stands- and this is fine. Even if you do get such an opportunity, I personally always recommend to turn it down: becoming easy makes you less of an important commodity down the road. Still, you need to accept the fact that those bleach blond haired Abercrombie-and-Fitch-sucking-off girls will never give you the time of day. Nor should you do the favor for them in return.

Look for unique girls that match your interests and desires. This may mean you will go without having a "constant girlfriend", and this is fine: the goal here is not to have something on your arm 24/7. I've even found myself promoting long distance relationships, if only because it's better to find someone at all than to accept someone near just because of their proximity to you. And hell, let's face it: you want more than sex, don't you?

Being GQ vs. Being Heterosexual

2007-11-01T12:34:00.000-07:00

The first post I'll make on here addresses an issue that many people have regarding The Well Cultured Anonymous and any kind of fashion tips in general: ensuring that what you do looks heterosexual.

Somehow, in the long road of "Fashion and design", someone magically waved the social wand and presumed that all males not wearing sports gear or cheap nasty clothing are homosexual, and I'm not sure how that happened. As I try to follow my own advice (which often is hard for me because I'm a fucking retard), I find often that I'm considered "well dressed" compared to my peers- and some people then presume that I either have a good stylist locked in my closet or something like that. It's somewhat irritating, because the world (mostly females) tend to look at you strangely if you look good.

So, in this, I'm going to help draw the line between being "too" stylish (ergo, looking like a homosexual) and looking stylish but heterosexual. There IS a difference- namely, that there are some things you can (and should) do, and there are some things that will put you on the fudge packing train in everyone's head. Let's examine.

The following is a picture from a Dolce & Gabbana runway show, and it's a kind of style you see often... in homosexual men. Overly done everything. You can basically smell the amount of money that went into making this jackhole look "faded", and that little scarf might as well be a sign that says "I like it in the ass". I mean, sure- you could pull it off. But imagine this: what would a girl think if she saw you running around like you just got back from a gay club in Kuwait?

The problem here is that you can be TOO "stylish" and end up fucking yourself over in the long run. For example, just because Polo Ralph Lauren thinks that the new style is going to be hunting gear (as they seem to think nowadays), that does not mean you should run around dressed in full Ralph Lauren hunting gear carrying a crossbow and pointing it at everything that moves within a 10 mile radius. Fuck no.

The truth is that you can look stylish purely by knowing what is IN style, mixed with what's classic and interesting. You can never go wrong with the "classics"- black suits, dark jeans, fitted shirts, and the like. Never.

Now, let's look at a fucking wonderful example of what I'm talking about:

I'll admit it. I fucking love Van Heusen and everything with their label on it, this being an example. Sure, it's a "mall brand" for suits- but who cares? Does this model look like he takes it up the ass? I don't fucking think so. This is a shot done that just takes the staple of the workplace (white shirts, black trousers, a black tie) and makes it look fucking good. None of it is stone washed, his hair isn't "perfectly" tousled, and none of that shit applies.

A good fashionable man I knew once told me as a kid that simplicity is the key of fashion: you can sure as fuck run around in jeans and a t-shirt, people have been doing that for the majority of the last century. The key difference is knowing what you can do (nicely cut jeans and a fitted shirt) and what won't (baggy jeans and a Tupac t-shirt).

No doubt I'll get some comments from the general readers that being arcane can be handy- and yes, that is true. I'll never argue against the power of doing what lots of guys do and being a little bit "off"- growing their hair out differently, wearing strange hats or clothing, or just being strange by themselves. Uniqueness gets you noticed. However, there is a key difference in being unique intentionally and doing it because you have no idea what you're doing. Lesson for the fucking day.

Welcome to the TWCA Blog

2007-11-01T12:00:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the TWCA Blog- an answer to the common request on Wikichan for some kind of way where everyone can be kept up-to-date on cool things in the world of fashion, grooming, and generally "keeping yourself looking good"- without all of the crap that you see in normal blogs.

This blog will be different. For one thing, this is going to be the first one designed specifically at *channers- but more importantly, it will be aimed at straight men. We won't tell you to go out and buy tight pants that show off your package: we know better. Rather, the Well Cultured Anonymous blog is about making your ass something better than a lazy anonymous- we want to transform you into something much more cool, slick, and just outright kickass.

Now, keep in mind I will try to update this, but do not expect me to be perpetually perfect. For one thing, I will outright avoid fashion predictions or anything of that nature: That does not matter. The idea here is blogging about interesting things or tips on a day to day basis that will turn you from a computer geek into a good looking computer geek with the ability to handle social situations. Sure, you might still retain that hatred for society/social interaction with idiots like the vast majority of us, but you can look good and attractive doing so.

tl;dr: You'll get laid.

Feel free to comment on any posts I make on here. I have a general rule, however, of never responding to blatant spam or harassment or just stupid comments unless I want to- however, if you ask questions, I will try to respond. As well, a few more bloggers will be coming on here to do different sections (such as fashion, hygiene, diet, and the like), so treat them with the same respect and you'll get awesome answers.

And as always, for user-written and edited versions of opinions on here, you can always read the "book edition" at Wikichan's official The Well Cultured Anonymous section.

Let's do this shit.